A Nightmare that will Never End
by bougainvillea blossom
Summary: "I haven't forgotten this is a dream...but I think, if I never wake up, well, than this is just some stupid living nightmare that will never end. This is my reality." When Ed is trapped in a dream set to repeat forever, will he be able to escape? Or will he forever be stuck in the time loop of death?


**A/N: So this was based on a dream I had a while ago. Be warned, this story defies both FMA timelines and contains OOC-ness. Also take note I am still new to writing and horror is not one of my best subjects. This is the longest thing I have ever written and is dedicated to my friend Sage. **

A Nightmare that will Never End

"What the hell did you just inject me with you bastard!?" Edward Elric snarled, struggling against his bindings. His kidnapper, a tall man wearing circular glasses, smirked as he held up a now empty syringe.

"It's a new hallucination drug I've been creating. One with...quite the interesting results." The man said softly, a twinge of gleeful satisfaction in his voice. Ed scowled, his golden eyes bright with fury.

"So you decided to use me as your latest test subject, why?" He growled, trying to ignore the throbbing pain racing up his arm.

"I've been watching you for a long time now Edward," the man's smiled crookedly, "and I must say, you are a most fascinating specimen..." Ed blinked, suddenly feeling drowsy.

"What do you mean..." He demanded, though it came out more like a slurred mumble. The man paused before saying something, but the blond teen didn't hear. Everything had suddenly blurred around him, like he had been submerged in freezing water. Panic spread through him as he fought to stay awake. However, slowly, but surely, Ed could feel himself drifting deeper and deeper into the sea of shadows. Abruptly, a quiet voice cut through the darkness, making his blood run cold.

"Falling asleep already? Pity. I would have told you everything you wanted to know. Not that it would have mattered...I know you're sinking so let me give you one last parting farewell. Sweet dreams, Edward, because you're never going to wake up..."

A sadistic laugh echoed around the golden haired alchemist, the last thing he heard before the blackness finally swallowed him.

Five minutes later (in reality) the man heard a shrill scream come from his prisoner. He turned around to see the boy writhing on the medical table, tears streaming down his face and pleading whimpers escaping his lips.

"No...Please...don't hurt them! Al...Stop it! Leave them alone!" Still unconscious, Edward's screams grew more panicked and louder in volume, making the man smile.

"So...it had begun."

Ed opened his eyes, blinking slowly. Looking around he noted he was in some sort of room, a dungeon it seemed. The place was dimly lit, the single flickering light bulb hanging from the ceiling casting silky shadows on the walls. Ed shifted uncomfortably, feeling put off and disoriented by his odd surroundings. He couldn't recall how he had gotten here, but for some reason, the whole situation didn't seem...real? Something seemed off; unnatural even...The answers lingered on the edge of his subconscious, tickling his mind but out of reach. Hissing in annoyance, Ed found himself so caught up in his thoughts, that he almost missed the soft voice that sounded from right next to him.

"Brother..."

Edward froze, turning towards the hauntingly familiar voice. A young, sandy haired boy was leaning on the wall next to him, staring at him with dull golden eyes.

"Al?" Ed whispered, shock written plainly on his features. He looked over his little brother just to make sure he wasn't imagining it, that Alphonse was actually there and had his old body back. It was definitely him, there was no mistaking it...but, Al's eyes, they were so...lifeless. It wasn't right.

"Al, what happened? How do you have your body back?! Did we find the Philosophers stone?! Do you know how we got here!? Why can't I remember?!" Ed choked out, his words spilling out in a tangled mess. Al smiled somberly, but remained silent. His glassy eyes shined with sorrowful understand, as if though he knew something Ed didn't. Frustrated that Al wouldn't answer him, Ed mulled over his own questions, though he found answers to almost none. The only conclusion he came to was that only Al's body had been restored, seeing as he still had his automail. But still, Al was here, in the flesh. And even though Al was acting strangely, Ed couldn't help but feel his heart overflow with happiness. His little brother finally had his body back.

"Brother, wake up..."

The older Elric looked at his little brother in confusion, processing the whispered words slowly.

"What do you mean Alphonse? This isn't a dream. You finally have your body back, isn't that great!" The blond teen questioned, wondering if this had something to do with his memory loss. "I mean, how long has it been? For some reason I can't remember anything...can you? And do you know why we're in this place anyways?" Ed asked, feeling slightly frantic. Again, Al didn't answer, instead shaking his head slowly, looking like he wanted to cry. A thought suddenly hit Edward. "Al, did we get kidnapped? Is that why we are here? Please answer me, Alphonse!" He pleaded. But in was in vain, seeing as Al continued to refuse to speak.

Ed, now certain his guess was correct, reached out to comfort his little brother, anticipating the warmth of their touch and not the feel of cold armor he so painfully recalled. But abruptly, as if sensing his intentions, the shadows on the walls leapt at him, curling around his upper body, leaving him immobilized. With a startled yelp, Ed stumbled back, only to find his feet stuck to the floor, encased in what looked like sticky black glue.

"Brother...wake up"

Edward wanted to scream in frustration. What was his brother trying to tell him?! What was going on? Before he could respond, the sound of footsteps reached his ears, alerting him they weren't alone anymore. A person stepped out of the inky darkness, their long spiky green hair swishing loudly in the eerie silence.

"Well well, why don't we have a little fun with the pipsqueak's friends!" The homunculus Envy sneered, a lopsided smirk on his face. Ed felt his blood boil at the sight of the sin, and had the shadows not been restraining him, he would have gladly introduced his metal fist to the sin's face.

"Envy, you bastard! You kidnapped us, didn't you?!" The livid teen roared. However the homunculus seemed to have not heard him at all. "Don't ignore me, dammit!" Ed snarled, tugging against the dark coils that wrapped around him. Straining, he brought his hands together with a sharp clap, and pressed his left hand to his automail arm. He paused, waiting for the bright blue flashes of alchemical light, but they never came. Ed gasped, looking at his hands in horror. Why wasn't it working?! He tried again, only to end up with the same results. Eyes wide, he could only stare numbly at the ground, shock, and for once, fear, seeping into his heart. His alchemy wasn't working...how was this possible?

"Let's see, who first?" Envy cackled, oblivious to the teen standing in the corner. As if a spotlight had suddenly been shined on a stage, three more figures appeared. Ed's breath caught in his throat as realization slowly dawned in his eyes.

"Big brother will come save us, right Papa?" The little girl sniffled, clutching at her fathers bloodied sleeve. The man smiled down at her weakly, stroking her pale brown hair.

"Of course, Elicia, Ed would never abandon us. Just you wait, he'll come barging in her and save us from this bad man" Hughes said soothingly.

"Don't cry sweetie, everything will turn out alright, just have hope." Gracia chimed in softly, placing a hand on her husband's shoulder. None of them even glanced over at the teen they were talking about, who was listening intently.

"...what do you mean...I'm right here..." Ed murmured, almost to himself as he watched the heart breaking scene in front of him unfold. This couldn't be happening. Ever since he and Al had started their journey, they had promised to not get others involved in their conflicts. And yet, he had broken that promise. It was his fault the Hughes family had been dragged into this whole mess, and he couldn't do a thing about it.

"Aww, how cute," Envy purred in a sickly sweet voice, "you think the pipsqueak is going to come save you little girl?" Elicia nodded furiously, ignoring the warning glance her parents gave her.

"Yes, big brother will definitely come!" She stated confidently. The homunculus snickered, looking down at the young girl with a mixture of disgust and amusement.

"Well I hate to burst your bubble kid, but your "big brother" isn't here. And he isn't coming to rescue you" the sin said mockingly. Edward froze, a feeling of dread washing over him.

"What are you talking about?! I'm right here! Hughes, Gracia, Elicia, I'm here! Why won't you look at me!?" His hesitant cries soon turned into desperate screams, but they fell on deaf ears. No matter how loud he yelled, they wouldn't notice him. It was like he wasn't there.

"They can't see me...or hear me..." Ed whispered in horror. He watched as Hughes looked right at him, but didn't acknowledge that he even existed. It was, in a way, terrifying.

"Brother...wake up"

The blonde alchemist jerked his head around to see Alphonse frowning at him again, a look of mild frustration on his black face.

"Why do you keep saying that Al?! I am awake! And why is it only you can see me?!" Ed snapped, his anger threatening to boil over. Al gritted his teeth, a faint scowl on his face. "I mean, I can't even remember how I got here. This whole situation doesn't even seem real! Like some stupid dre-" The teen paused, seeing bright spark flash in his brothers eyes. "...like some stupid dream" he finished slowly, as if doubting his own words. Alphonse nodded slightly, a tiny smile gracing his lips. "So you're saying...this is a dream?" Ed asked skeptically, though a small part of his subconscious was screaming yes. Before Al could give him any sort of confirmation a frightened shriek had him sharply twisting around. Elicia was reaching for her parents, who were being dragged away from her by Envy.

"Mommy! Daddy! Don't leave me!" She wailed, tears dripping down her cheeks, hands outstretched. Envy's cackling laughter reverberated off the walls, making Ed's hair stand on end.

"Elicia, stay back! Ed will come save you." Hughes shouted, struggling vainly in the homunculus' grip.

"No, don't leave me, please!" Elicia bawled.

"We're so sorry sweetie. Don't ever forget, we love you!" Gracia sobbed, her words promptly cut off as a grinning Envy violently shoved her and her husband into a large black box in the middle of the room. A box that had not been there moments ago...

"Envy, what the hell do you think you're doing!?" Ed snarled, twisting against the shadows. Of course, he received no answer. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat, the familiar feeling of dread worming it's way back into his heart.

The door slammed shut with a boom, echoing loudly. The green haired sin smirked, holding up a match he had just struck.

"We're in for quite the light show" the homunculus giggled sadistically.

In that moment, Ed noticed 3 things. One, the size of the room was actually larger than he had first thought it to be. The glow of the flame illuminated the dungeon slightly, showing it stretched farther into the darkness than he expected. Second, he saw a few pairs of glowing red eyes glinting in the blackness, signaling they weren't the only ones there. And lastly, as the match began to fall into the small opening on top of the bow, Ed realized, with growing terror, that the slick liquid coating the confinement was gasoline.

"Stop!" He shrieked, throwing all of his weight against his bindings in a last-ditch attempt to stop Envy. But it was too late. After a sickeningly slow second, the entire box burst into angry flames. Immediately, the screams erupted. Wails of frightened pain filled the room, ringing in Ed's ears. He stood frozen, unable to look away as the fire consumed the small container and the people inside.

"No! You're hurting mommy and daddy! Let them go!" Elicia screeched from her corner, her voice quivering fearfully. Envy only laughed, his eyes shining with glee as he witnessed the buring of two innocent people. The shrieks of tormented agony grew louder, filling Ed's mind until there was nothing else.

"Stop it...you can't...let them go damn it!" Edward whispered in shock, recoiling as the smell of burnt flesh hit him. He wanted to gag, to scream, to cry, to do something. To fulfill his promise. To rescue Elicia and her parents from their fate. But he couldn't. He couldn't do a damn thing...even though they had believed in him, he had failed.

"No, mommy, daddy...don't leave...I'm scared.." Elicia whimpered, her soft voice rubbed raw from yelling. Ed squeezed his eyes shut, unable to take it any longer. But the sounds of fingers hopelessly scratching against metal continued to remind him that Hughes and Gracia were still alive, suffering a slow and painful death.

"Al, why are you just standing there?! Do something!" The blond teen choked out, staring at his brother who had just stood there the entire time. Alphonse had a wounded expression on his face, but didn't move from his spot.

"Brother...wake up"

Ed stiffened, remembering his revelation from earlier. A dream...was it possible? However the cogs in his brain were already turning, his logical mind already deducting that there was absolutely no way he should be invisible to the naked eye, no matter how much the situation seemed real. Edward flinched as a particularly gut-wrenching cry boomed in his ears. Yes, just a stupid dream. Like all those nightmares he had after their failed human transmutation. They were terrifying, but he would always wake up. This was just another dream, it wasn't real.

"That was certainly entertaining, but they didn't last nearly as long as I thought. Now, what to do with this whiny brat..." Envy sniffed, kicking at the box as the flames died down. It fell apart easily, despite being metal. As the smoke cleared, two blackened forms came into view. Ed couldn't contain the cry of horror that bubbled up in his throat as he quickly turned away.

"It's not real. It's just a dream. It's just a dream. It's just a dream." He chanted over and over, resisting the urge to throw up all over the floor. It wasn't real. No matter how real those burned bodies looked, no matter how real they smelled of cooked flesh. It wasn't real! He tried blocking out all other thoughts, tried to keep the tears from overflowing. The sound of Elicia's stuttering voice, calling for her parents to wake up. Envy's demented chuckles, cruel and mocking as he spat on the lump of charred meat that had once been a person.

"It is not real. I will wake up!" Ed repeated over and over. He had to stay strong, he couldn't let himself be fooled. Cracking open one golden eye, he saw the bodies of Hughes and Gracia had vanished, leaving only a smudge of ash and blood on the floor. Elicia was silently crying, her eyes wide and dilated, as if she had finally understood that, her parents were dead, and never coming back. She barely looked up as her parent's murderer approached her, didn't protest as he dragged her by one pigtail to the middle of the room.

"Hey gluttony, I found a snack for you~" the sin said in a sing song voice. A pair of red eyes blinked in the darkness, before the fat homunculus walked out.

"Snacky!...but she's so tiny, not a good meal" Gluttony said sadly, innocently putting a finger in his mouth and cocking his head to the side. Abruptly, his face twisted into a fearsome grin, his mouth wide open and ready for food.

"No! Don't do it! Run, Elicia!" Ed shouted, wincing as the black shadows tightened themselves around him, sending his intentions. He didn't care that this was all in his head; he still didn't want an innocent little girl be killed. But Elicia only looked up at Gluttony with broken green eyes, not lifting even a finger when he picked her up.

"Mommy and Daddy are gone," she spoke with understanding, "but they said big brother would come save me. I believe in big brother, he will come" Gluttony stretched his mouth wider, lifting his prey over the chasm. "He always keeps his promises..." With that, Gluttony let go, and Elicia fell to her death. Ed had scarcely blinked when large white teeth chomped down on her limp form, snapping the child in half. She didn't scream, even though she was being ripped apart, every fragile bone in her body being snapped as she was devoured by a monster. Blood trickled out of Gluttony's mouth as he licked his chops, picking a few stray limbs off the ground and eating them like they were candy.

Smiling, the sin lumbered away, satisfied with his meal. Ed was paralyzed, Elicia's last words reverberating in his thoughts. She had been so sure he would save her, and he hadn't...She had died, alone and scared, clinging to a false hope. He felt his knees give way, his whole body trembling. If not for the shadows holding him up, he would have crumpled to the ground.

"Oh pipsqueak, how did you like the little show? There's more to come you know"

Edward looked up, his eyes meeting Envy's. The sin was staring straight at him, a huge smirk on his features.

"You knew...you knew I was here the whole time...you bastard!" Ed growled, regaining his footing, fury sparking in his eyes. The homunculus nodded, and began to walk closer.

"Of course OChibi-San! But I have to say, it was so hard for me not to laugh out loud when I saw your expressions. You looked so pathetic, trying to reach out to those people, trying to convince yourself this isn't real. How cowardly. You're just trying to run away aren't you!?" Envy cackled, changing his arm into a blade. Without warning, he rushed at Ed, his weapon pointed at the teen's heart. The blond alchemist felt his heart clench in fear, knowing there was no way he could dodge that attack. He closed his eyes, hoping that, maybe afterwards, he would wake up...

"Brother! Run!"

Golden robed snapped open just in time to see Alphonse push him out of the way, vanquishing the shadows around him. He fell, almost in slow motion, into a bright white space, that seemed connected to the dungeon. Ed stretched out his arm, a silent cry on his lips as the black doorway closed. Before it did, he caught sight of Al, standing with arms spread in front of a furious Envy. Then the door closed completely, vanishing to leave only a small black dot on the sea of white. Yet, that did not block out the noise. A piercing yell exploded in the silence, the sound of a blade cutting through flesh accompanying it. The shrill sound had Ed leaping foreword, banging on the wall in an attempt to get back it.

"Al! Alphonse! Can you hear me?!" He said urgently, fearing the worst. Right on cue, a loud thump sounded from the other side, followed by the splatter of liquid hitting the floor and walls. Then, silence. Ed couldn't move, staring at the wall as if just that would allow it to open. Al had saved him, somehow. But he had paid for it with his own life. His little brother, who had finally gotten his body back, was dead. A sob fell from his lips, tears blurring his vision. "Just a dream...not real" he muttered, trying to calm down. It might be a dream, but Al had known. He had tried to save his big brother, tried to warn him...and had died trying. "Damn it!" Ed barked, slamming his fist into the floor.

"Heehee"

The teen looked up frantically, searching for the source of the giggle. His eyes landed on the black dot, which was shivering slightly, like a piece of jello. Suddenly, it grew, sending vibrant streaks of black onto the walls. However, Ed was pretty sure they weren't supposed to have red eyes, or be grinning at him with sharp teeth. Somehow, a name popped into his mind.

"Pride's shadows..." He paused, wondering how he knew. The shadows hissed at him, making him back away. They didn't look friendly at all. As one lunged at him, he turned with a yelp and ran down the corridor. As he sprinted down the white hallway, he noticed a single door at the end. For some reason, he knew that was the exit, that if he went through there he would wake up. Yes, this was why Alphonse had pushed him here. He was helping Ed escape. Fueled by determination, he ran faster, narrowly avoiding the shadows that were catching up.

"Ya know. I wonder whose next?"

Edward gasped, recognizing Envy's voice. It seemed to come from everywhere, bouncing off the walls. Soon other voices began to accompany it.

"Fullmetal! He isn't here is he you bastards!?"

"Colonel, I'm running out of bullets, I can't keep them back!"

"Ah, you must be the Fullmetal brat's mechanic!"

"Fletcher! What's going on?!"

"Where's chief, he didn't get caught too right"

"Where's my idiot apprentice!? I'll give you he'll if you've touched even a single hair on his head!"

"Xiao Mei! I'm scared, who are these people?!"

"My lord, I deeply apologize. I was being reckless and they caught us..."

"Brother...wake up"

The voices pounded in his head, warbled and too jumbled to make out.

"Shut up!" Ed screamed, clutching his ears. He was so close, so close. As his fingertips brushed the smooth handle, a jerk on his ankle sent him toppling. He twisted around, seeing the shadow coiled around his leg. "No!" He cried as they began dragging him back. No matter what he did, they wouldn't let go. Persistently, the shadows pulled him away from freedom, back to that room. As the white was replaced by black, as the smell of blood and fear entered his nostrils, Ed cast one last glance at freedom, before tumbling back into darkness.

Benjamin Crossdale surveyed his little test subject, scribbling down notes on a clipboard. He gulped down some coffee, determined to stay awake and examine his project to the fullest. It had been a day now, 24 hours, 1440 minutes, 86400 seconds. Still, the scientist knew that it had been much longer for his prisoner. That was what his drug was supposed to do after all. Make time go faster in the dream, to the point where a second in reality could be a day in the mind. Ben smirked, wondering how many times Edward had repeated the day. The endless time loop of death. Judging by the boy's screams, quite the number. He wondered what exactly was going on in the teen's mind. From Ed's delirious words, it seemed he was watching people he cared about die, over and over.

"Sigh...you really could be more helpful Edward" Benjamin groaned, writing down some more notes. The boy never clarified who was doing the killing, or how they were carried out. It was a disappointing waste of entertainment. But the man knew not to expect too much. This was just a test drug, it wasn't completely finished. Even he didn't know exactly what it was supposed to do, only that it varied from person to person. His former test subjects had been useless, not reacting nearly as well as he wanted.

But Edward...Ben shivered as he stared at the fresh tears on the child's face. Shou Tucker had been right. The boy was reacting beautifully to his drug, and strongly too. He truly was special, though Ben had doubts when Tucker told him. He was glad he had listened. A pity his old friend couldn't be here to witness this, but in a way Benjamin was glad he was dead.

"One less person in my way" he chuckled. Setting down his clipboard, he walked over to the table, where another marked syringe sat. This was his experimental antidote. True, he hadn't planned on ever letting the boy wake up, knowing he would die sooner or later, but this was too good a chance to pass up. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to use it, but his itching curious it's kept him from throwing it away.

Shaking his head, Ben left the room in search of more coffee, locking the soundproof door behind him. He climbed up the stairs in his basement, taking care not to disturb his running lab equipment. He entered his kitchen, setting the small kettle on the stove to boil. Looking around while he waited, the man couldn't help but laugh. No one ever suspected quiet Benjamin Crossdale, the polite young man with great potential, to be experimenting on humans. None of his friends knew about his secret, they only thought of him as an antisocial genius who worked a quiet, low paying job and never interfered in anyone else's business. Oh, how wrong they were. Ben smiled, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose before walking back to the basement.

_How long has it been? A day, weeks, months, years?_

_I can't tell anymore. Reality blends into this dream, contorting it until I can't tell one from the other._

_Is it still a dream, or reality?_

_I've watched so many people die, while I stand here, helpless. _

_They keep coming back; it's like a time loop that goes on forever. _

_But Al, he's always there. Always there to push me out of that sickening room, to try to help me escape._

_I wonder if he knows I will never reach it...never wake up. _

_Al never tells me to wake up anymore...I wonder if he has given up on me?_

_I haven't forgotten this is a dream...but I think, if I never wake up, well, than this is just some stupid living nightmare that will never end. _

_This is my reality._

Ed waited for the darkness to fade, to find himself in that dreaded room again. As usual, something had pulled him back. This time, it had been Truth's black hands. The time before, his failed human transmutation. Before that, Nina. He shook, remembering her words. "Big brother, wanna play? We can't play if you run away! Silly big brother!" He never made it to that door, never. But that didn't stop Al from pushing him away every time. Though, recently, Ed had felt the shoves get lighter, less urgent, almost weary. Though he had tried to stay strong, any person could only take so much. It was only when Al stopped speaking to him and encouraging him...that he broke. Now, he almost wished his little brother would stop trying. Sometimes, he didn't even bother screaming out or running to the exit. Better to stay closer to the room so that when he was dragged back, it hurt less to see his freedom pulled away.

"Ooh, look what we have here Wrath, a little girl and her stupid kitty!"

Dull yellow eyes looked up to see two homunculi crowding around a small Xingese girl with long braided hair.

"Oh, it's her again..." Ed thought, a pang of sadness in his soul. He didn't know who she was, or who that other Xingese boy and his servants were, but they always seemed to know him. They would talk about him, like everyone else, saying how he would come for them, how he would rescue them. Ed closed his eyes as she was killed, the sound of her shrill plea for help numbed in his mind. Her blood was pooling dangerously close to him, but like everything else but the shadows, it went right through. He bit his lip, unable to look at her mutilated body with those dead black eyes. Edward wondered if he would be lucky this time. If he wouldn't have to see Al die when he pushed him away. Sometimes the door would close and block his sight, others times he had to watch his little brother be cut down by Envy and his blade.

"Brother, run!"

Nope, he was lucky this time...now, what was hunting him?

"Come back, I want to eat you!"

A distorted Gluttony came barreling at him, mouth wide and drool flying. His body was enlarged, and he had a predatory gleam in his eyes.

"That's a new one" Ed muttered before fleeing as fast as he could. He had all of the homunculi memorized, even though most of them he had never met. There was lust, Gluttony and Envy, the three he had already known about. Sloth, a woman he somehow knew was actually the result of their failed human transmutation. Wrath, a young boy who was his teacher's dead child and held his missing arm and leg. Greed, who sometimes also took the form of that strange Xingese boy. And Pride, who never showed himself and let his shadows do all the work.

"Got you!"

Ed yelped as he was dragged down, hitting the floor with a thud. Wincing, he made no resistance as the sin pulled him away. The door was still a ways away. It seemed that with every try, it moved farther away. As they grew closer and closer to the dungeon door, Ed began to panic. He didn't want to go back. He didn't want to see anyone else die.

Roy, who always had his eyes gouged out by Lust and drowned by Sloth. It was ironic really, how could the man lead his country when he couldn't see. Ed could never bear watching his superior, the man he almost considered a father, drown. To see him flailing in the water, putting his hand against the barrier to try to reach out to Ed, to see him grow still and sink to the bottom after those long agonizing minutes.

Riza, who always had a slow painful death. She would be shot in the heart, right in the center, and wait as blood started to fill her lungs. And in her last moments, Ed could always swear she would be able to see him. The slight widening of her eyes before they dulled.

Roy's team, who would be put in clear gas chamber. He had to turn away, he couldn't stand looking into their fear filled eyes as the banged on the glass. Slowly, they would inhale the fumes and crumple, their hands still trailing down the sides of the chamber in a cry for help.

Izumi, who was always killed by Wrath, her own child. She would be unable to fight back as the young boy ripped out her insides, choking her with her own intestines until she died.

And Winry, whose death hit him the hardest. Seeing her crucified to the cross and then having her limbs ripped off her body as she screamed, was like a stab to his heart. Ed had seen their deaths so many times, he could repeat their words by heart. But they weren't the only ones. Occasionally, he would find the homunculus bringing in other people. Rose, Clause, Eliza, the Tringham brothers, the people of Youswell. People he had met on his journey. Even innocent people who he had never met, or that little girl he had talked to on the train that one time...all dead. And none could see him, save for Al and Envy. As the doors closed in his face, Ed put on his mask, hoping, that maybe this once, he could be the one to die.

A week. That was how long Edward Elric had been MIA. And frankly, Colonel Roy Mustang was ready to tear his hair out. There were no clues; it was like the teen had disappeared off the face of the earth. Al had been frantic.

"I swear, brother was just going to the library to pick up a book he left behind!"

But the blond alchemist never returned. Of course, Roy immediately set up a search party, but they were getting nowhere. No evidence, no fingerprints, no witnesses. So when Al burst into his office that morning yelling that he had found something, Mustang had been more than relieved. Apparently an elderly lady had seen a tall young man carrying a small boy wearing a red coat out of an alley. She said she had assumed they were brothers and didn't pay any attention, but she was certain the boy was Ed. She also said the man's name was Benjamin Crossdale, and that he was a very polite young man. Still, Roy was hesitant, but Alphonse's concern was enough to get him to look into it, and he didn't like what he saw. Apparently the man was an average citizen living in Central. But he was exceptionally talented academically and used to be aquatinted with Shou Tucker. That sent alarm bells ringing in Roy's head, and he hurried to tell Alphonse.

"What!? Then let's go now! Who knows what he could be doing to big brother!"

The younger Elric had wanted to leave right away after hearing the suspicious tale, and Roy agreed with him. But his team wasn't there to back him up. Feury was gone visiting family, Havoc, Breda, and Falman were scouring the city, and Hughes and Hawkeye were looking through the military files for clues. So both the Colonel and Al agreed they would go pretending to only inspect the man, not to arouse suspicion. Had the first lieutenant been there, she would have flat out refused to let them go, but she wasn't, so they snuck away as quietly as a man and a suit of armor could. And though he wouldn't admit it, Roy was genuinely worried about Ed. He was just as anxious as Al to check this Benjamin person out.

"Remember Alphonse, we are just low-ranking military personnel coming to do an investigation. Do not let him see you suspect him. The lieutenant will shoot both of us if this turns out to be a false lead." Roy had said sternly. Al was quick to agree, his fingers twitching in agitation. And now here they stood, in front of a small brick house with blue curtains. Hesitantly, Mustang pressed the doorbell, fingering his alchemy gloves with the other.

"Coming!"

The scuffling of feet could be heard from inside, and a moment later the door swung open, revealing their suspect. Almost unnoticeably, the man stiffened, his eyes narrowing. But am easy smile graced his lips, and he bowed polietly.

"What do I owe the pleasure sirs?" He asked in a calm tone. But Roy easily saw through the facade. He was positive this was the culprit, and he could tell Al was thinking the same.

"Sorry to trouble you..."

"Ah, Benjamin, Benjamin Crossdale."

"Sorry to trouble you Benjamin, but we're just doing a mandatory inspection around the neighborhood. We won't bother you for long, but I'm afraid this is necessary." Roy said firmly, putting on an apologetic look. The man blinked.

"Ah, I see. Go ahead then, but please don't disturb my things" Ben said reluctantly, moving to let his guests in. As the two walked in, neither noticed the man's glasses glinting dangerously or the small syringe that slipped into his hand. Alphonse looked around, surprised to find the place neat and tidy. It seemed normal enough, but he couldn't shake the feeling that there was something wrong about that man. He had just turned around to ask Roy something when he saw Benjamin creep up behind the colonel, a needle in hand.

"Colonel! Behind you!" Al shrieked. Mustang pivoted on the spot, narrowly missing the syringe that fly past his arm. Before Ben knew what was happening, he had been pinned to the floor by a very angry Flame Alchemist. The needle in his hand toppled to the ground, shattering instantly.

"Tell me where Fullmetal is, now," Roy demanded, "before I decide to burn you to a crisp!" Benjamin chuckled humorlessly.

"So you're that brat's superior?" He spat, seemingly not worried.

"Alphonse, go check every room. Find your brother!" Mustang ordered, snapping Al out of his trance.

"Yessir!" Al shouted, running down the hall. He wrenched open every door he could find, creating quite a few doorknob shaped holes in the walls. With no sign of Ed in sight, Al was becoming distraught. He paused at the last door, one that led to the basement before opening it. Peering down, Alphonse gasped at the sight of Benjamin's research and lab equipment.

"Colonel, you might want to come see this, I think brother is down there!" He called, his voice slightly panicky. Roy, who had been busy handcuffing their culprit to a chair, looked up. Without skipping a beat he promptly punched the man in the face, rendering him unconscious before sprinting towards Al's voice. Arriving at the top of the stairs, he looked down to see Al had already gone down. Following the younger Elric, he too gaped at the sight before him.

The soft whirr of machines filled the air. Beakers, test tubes, and small trays all chocked full of liquids and powders. Pages after pages of notes were scattered across the tables, some stuck messily in binders while others fluttered to the ground. Unreadable scribbled danced across the white sheets, so clear it was like you could feel the person's excitement as they wrote.

"Holy shit! Average citizen my ass!" Roy breathed, knowing the press would have a field day once they heard about this.

"Colonel, over here!" The urgent tone of Al's echoey voice made him quicken his pace as he met up with the suit of armor in front of a metal door marked "testing area". When it didn't open Alphonse kicked it in, too agitated to wait. Bursting in, the two were met with a startling sight.

"Nii-San..." Al whispered, his soul fire eyes locked on the prone figure strapped to the medical table. He rushed over, gently tapping the golden haired teen on the shoulder to try to wake him up. But Ed remained unresponsive. Roy walked over, frowning at the IV and heart monitor attached to his subordinate.

"Alphonse, don't panic. Panicking will not help your brother right now." He said, seeing the boy was in distress.

"But...why won't he wake up!" Al whispered, staring down at his brother. Roy said nothing, still frowning as he examined Ed. The teen's face was contorted into an uncomfortable grimace, his arm twitching every few seconds. His pulse was fast and irregular, as well as his heartbeat.

"Not good, I think he was forced asleep...probably with a drug of some sort. He's in some sort of coma...and his body is slowly deteriorating." Mustang concluded, worry rising in him. This wasn't good. They had to wake Fullmetal up before his condition grew any worse. But judging by his movements and the dried streaks of tears on his face, Ed was trapped.

"How do we wake him up?" Al questioned, hovering over his brother's thin form like a mother hen. As the two of them stood in silence, pondering the problem, they were suddenly jolted out of their thoughts by an unearthly howl. Roy could have sworn his heart stopped as he glanced at Ed, who was making the sound. The noise that escaped from his lips couldn't be described as a scream, more of a wail. He was thrashing uncontrollably in his bindings, teardrops pouring out of his eyes. His cry sounded like he was attempting to break his own vocal cords from the sheer volume and fear infused in it.

"No! Not her! Please! Don't you dare...stop...NO!" Edward yelled, his voice feverish and quaking.

"Brother! Brother! What's wrong?!" Al cried, trying to hold down Ed's flailing limbs. On the other side of the table, Mustang was doing the same, though it didn't help much. Over the commotion, they could vaguely hear the heart monitor, which was beeping at a dangerously fast rate. At his wit's end, Alphonse looked around wildly, for anything that could possibly help his brother. He couldn't listen to Ed's screams, the cries of agony that threatened to break his soul. Suddenly, his glowing eyes landed on a small needle, labeled with a large, red A. Antidote. Not thinking, he ran over and scooped it up, desperate to cure his brother.

"No Al! What are you doing! You have no idea what that could do to him!" Roy shouted, but it was too late. Al had already jammed the liquid into Ed's arm, and it entered his bloodstream not a moment later. Automatically, the golden haired teen fell silent, his body went limp, and his heartbeat returned to normal. After a minute of excruciating silence, Edward moaned softly and his eyelids began to flutter.

"Brother?"

"Fullmetal?"

They both held their breath in anticipation as the blond alchemist opened his eyes.

Something was wrong. That was his first thought. The moment he found himself back in that room, he felt something was off. After opening his eyes, he realized there was a difference. There were no others in the room save for Envy, who looked strangely serious. There was always someone else there, whether it be another homunculus or the next person that would die that time. But there was no one else...no even...Alphonse.

"Al...Alphonse! Where are you?!" He called, wondering what was going on.

"Oh be quiet Chibi" Envy snorted, looking extremely annoyed. Ed raised an eyebrow, shoving his fear away. The fact that Envy was even talking to him was weird. The sin never spoke to him unless everyone was dead.

"W-what's happening!?" He questioned, wincing inwardly at his stutter.

"Oh, you'll see pipsqueak, you'll see..." The homunculus said with a smirk. "After all, this is the grand finale..." He said vaguely with a wave of his hand. A person shimmered into view on his command, their form flickering softly until finally stabilizing. Ed went rigid, his mouth parting slightly in shock as he stared at the person.

"Oh, where am I?"

He flinched at the sound of her voice, the softness of it seemingly so familiar and painful to hear. She looked the same as he remembered. A purple dress with a white apron covering it. Long chestnut hair spilling over one shoulder, and vibrant green eyes that sparkled with kindness.

"M-Mom!?" Ed stuttered, a twinge of happiness mixed with despair cutting into his heart. She didn't turn to him, didn't hear him, not that he didn't expect it. But it still hurt. Instead her attention was focused on Envy, who was beaming like a child who had received a flamethrower for his birthday.

"Who are you, did you bring me here!?" Trisha inquired, a wave of uneasiness washing over her as she eyed the green haired teen.

"I did bring you here, but I'm shocked you don't recognize me...mother" Envy sneered, transforming into a perfect replica of the invisible teen standing in the shadows. Trisha recoiled in shock as she examined the familiar boy in front of her.

"No...You're...Edward" she murmured, backing away another step. It was definitely him, though much older than her little boy.

"No mom! I'm right here! Run! You're in danger!" The real Ed screamed from his spot in the corner, comprehension settling in. But Trisha couldn't move as she watched her son walk up to her, an innocent smile on his face. She held out her arms to embrace him, thinking he would hug her back. But she failed to notice the glint of the fake Ed's automail as it aimed at her heart, or the malicious gleam in his eyes.

"I'm Edward, but I guess I can't be your little boy anymore can I?" Envy said in a faked sad voice.

"NO! MOM!"

Trisha jerked back, a throbbing pain exploding on her chest. She looked down to see a shining metal blade protruding from the left side of her chest. Looking up, her eyes met cold golden ones.

"E-Edward?" She whispered disbelievingly as she crumpled to the ground, staring up at her murderer, her own son. He glared back, his icy gaze holding no remorse.

"Yes, mommy?" Envy asked sweetly, wiping the blood off his blade. Tears sprung to Trisha's eyes as she saw what her beloved child had become.

"I-I'm sorry..."

Ed (the real one) watched her green eyes fade to a tarnished murky color and the life left her body. He watched, silently, as Envy changed back to his preferred form, turning to him with a smug grin.

"I wonder...what your dear mother's last thoughts were, hmm? To have her own son murder her in cold blood, I bet she was thinking what a monster you've become"

That was it. Ed tilted his head back and let loose an almost inhuman howl. His anger, hurt, hopelessness, and many other emotions fused in in that one unearthly scream. Tears coursed down his face as he wailed as loud as he possibly could. When he had reached his limit he cried louder, nearly shredding his voice in the process. All of the silence that had been bottled up inside now spilled out into his voice, fueling his cry. Even Envy was startled, and covered his ears in surprise.

"You're pathetic pipsqueak. You can't even save a single person can you? All those people who depended on you, you let them down!" The sin snarled. Ed shook his head violently, still screaming.

"Your brother gave up one you! You know why he isn't here! It's because he saw you were never going to make it! So he left!" The homunculus continued, bringing one hand down to form another blade.

"It's not true, it's not true, it's not true!" Ed thought, fighting to ignore that mocking voice.

"You killed your own mother. It's your fault she died. And then you had to go and bring her back. You nearly killed your brother then too! And now look! You just murdered her again. What kind of son are you!? You're not human! You're a monster!"

"Stop it!" Ed shrieked as Envy ran at him, raising his blade to strike. Suddenly, the whole room began to fuzz in and out, like a glitch.

"Wha?! What's going on!?" Envy stared at his hands, which were slowly fading. Soon the rest of him followed, gone in the blink of an eye. Edward wasn't aware of his current dilemma, it was only when chunks of the room began to disappear did he quiet down. He whimpered as everything around him faded to pure black. He was alone. Shutting his eyes tightly, he let the darkness swallow him once again.

"...Brother, are you awake?"

Ed moaned, squinting open his eyes only to shut them right back due to the light invading his sight. Why did it hurt so much? His whole body ached, his throat felt like sandpaper.

"C'mon Fullmetal! Get up!"

That voice...he recognized it. Cracking open his eyes again, he found himself strapped to a table looking up at a familiar black haired man and a large suit of armor. Said suit of armor let out a sigh of relief, putting one arm comfortingly on his shoulder. Ed couldn't help but start at the sudden contact, and Al pulled away, hurt.

"Ah...Al? Am I...are you...?" He struggled to find the right words, confused as to why Alphonse was back in armor and could touch him.

"Edward, what happened?" Roy interrupted gently, unnerved by the blank look in his subordinate's eyes. Ed furrowed his eyebrows.

"Colonel? You're alive? And you can see me?" He questioned hoarsely, shying away from Roy's questioning glance. "And Al, why are you back in armor. Are you speaking to me again? Did you do this!?"

"What are you talking about brother?" Al asked slowly.

"Please don't leave me! I promise I won't give up anymore. Not when I have a chance now! I'll keep trying to escape and wake up!" Ed coughed, a flicker of a flame dawning in his eyes. "Envy was right...I am pathetic. Everyone died and I couldn't save them. A-and I killed mom Al. But I promise I will wake up, so stay with me!" He added in a pleading whisper.

"Brother, I don't understand...what are you talking about!?"

"I know you must think I'm a monster Al. I'm such a horrible person. But once I escape, I promise to make it up to you!" Ed smiled quaveringly. He tried to place his hand in Al's, but found himself restrained. He dismissed it however, as the shadows.

"I don't hate you brother, how could you think that!" Al cried, frightened by his brother's strange words.

"I won't let you die in vain anymore Al. In fact, you should run Colonel. Envy could be coming any minute. I don't want to see you or lieutenant or teacher or anyone else die because of me!" The teen looked at Roy, his hazy yellow eyes making the flame alchemist jerk back.

"Fullmetal, what the hell are you blabbering about!" Mustang asked, a vague idea of what had happened to the boy coming together in his mind. Edward frowned, cocking his head to the side.

"What are you talking about Colonel. Just because we escaped that room doesn't mean I'm free yet...oh wait, do you think I'm actually awake!" He chuckled sadly at the thought, much to Al and Roy's dismay.

"But...this is real Nii-San..." Alphonse stuttered, his voice trembling. Ed turned his head away, his bangs covering his eyes.

"You're absolutely right Al, this is real," he said bitterly as a lone tear slipped down his cheek, "it may be a dream but it's my reality. It's just some stupid living nightmare that will never end..."

**The End…or is it?**


End file.
